When someone you love is going through chemotherapy, the instinct to help can be overwhelming — but knowing exactly what to do is another matter entirely. You want to say the right thing. You want to do the right thing. And you're frightened of getting it wrong.
Here's what we've seen actually make a difference.
Show up consistently
The first week after a diagnosis tends to bring a flood of support. What people really need is for that support to keep coming — three months in, six months in, on the quiet Tuesday when the treatment is particularly rough. Keep checking in. Keep asking what they need. Keep turning up.
Listen without trying to fix
Resist the urge to fill the silence or to reassure. 'It'll all be fine' and 'you're so strong' are said with the best of intentions, but they can make someone feel they're not allowed to be scared. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is 'that sounds really hard. I'm here.'
Take something practical off their plate
Chemotherapy is exhausting. Even a short hospital day can wipe someone out for the rest of the week. The things that used to be automatic — cooking, shopping, the school run, keeping the house running — can feel enormous. Offer something specific, not just 'let me know if you need anything'. People rarely ask. Show up with dinner. Offer to drive them to their next appointment. Pick something up from the shop.
Help with transport
Hospital appointments happen regularly during treatment. Offering to drive, or helping arrange transport, removes a logistical worry that can quietly pile up on top of everything else.
Think about what they might need to feel more comfortable
Soft, comfortable things matter enormously during treatment. A gentle shampoo for a sensitive scalp. A beautiful, warm chemo hat in a colour that suits them. A cosy pair of socks. These aren't trivial — they're signals that you see them, you've thought about their specific situation and you've done something about it.
If you're looking for a gift for someone going through chemo, our gift card lets them choose exactly what they need from our range of hats, headscarves and accessories. We're also happy to help you choose something specific if you'd like a recommendation.
Keep including them in normal life
Don't treat them as though they've become a different person. Invite them to things. Ask their opinions. Talk about ordinary things as well as the treatment. For many people, the most precious moments during chemotherapy are the ones where they feel completely normal for an hour.
